Him(Prologue)

Instead of something empty,He reasoned,it would be much better to imagine Him as a figure of deep affection,a brother,a father, a loving uncle or grandparent, instead of a person with whom a physical union could be achieved. A certain distance could be a comforting thing,really, a chasm, a gap, a divide never to ever be breached. After a long long while it helped to see Him like this, though this extracted a cost. The end of a feeling, a longing, an ache, a regret, leaves a special mark upon those who have come to this point. He felt himself stumble, revealing Himself too quickly, hastening a period on an end of a sentence. The stars directed Him to wander, and they led Him to the door of He. He felt He needed to understand all of the direction of the beginning and middle before He could really understand the end. But He felt a discomfort with this particular end.A misunderstanding with it. An uneasy truce-with it. For this was not the kind of ending that He would have wanted with Him. But here His aloness commenced. So then he dove into the beginning. A place where I can be with Him completely, He reasoned, extending a fantasia, riff on a theme, caress a phrase, maintain a heat, a stasis, a possibilty of union. So He returned to a beginning where He had been there with Him, with He driving a car, a night warm and rainy, Him asleep perhaps, slumped upon the shoulder of He, with He innocently, sweetly, almost paternally, running his fingers through His soft dark hair.